


thousand-yard stare

by oui_oui_mon_ami



Series: one hundred ways [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 100 ways to say i love you, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Pre-Slash, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 14:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18551680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oui_oui_mon_ami/pseuds/oui_oui_mon_ami
Summary: Tony knows the answer already, and he knows the answer Cap will give, but he asks the question anyway.Inspired by sunflowers-and-bucky's tumblr post "100 ways to say 'I love you' without actually saying 'I love you'"





	thousand-yard stare

**Author's Note:**

> i watch endgame in LESS THAN A WEEK HOLY CRAP so i'm trying to write as much content as i can before my life is ended help me

Cap has a few expressions, Tony has found, outside of the stoic, determined stare that features in all the posters and trading cards he used to own as a child. Sure he uses that one most often, in the heat of battle when his team needs a pep talk, but it’s not the one Tony likes the most. The one he likes the most is Cap’s genuine smile, when his eyes light up after someone’s told a good joke or he’s proud of himself for getting a reference to modern culture. Tony thinks he could fall in love with a smile like that. A close second, of course, is the way Cap furrows his brow when he’s confused or working in his sketchbook, because it’s so damn cute. He also likes Cap’s sarcastic smile, when he lets down his guard enough to make a joke of his own. Of course, there are also expressions that Tony doesn’t like. Such as the look of disapproval directed at him so often. Or whenever Cap gets injured in a fight and insists that he’s fine, even though he’s grimacing in pain. But Tony’s least favourite expression is when Cap’s face goes completely blank except for a slight trace of sadness and longing, and he just looks into the distance. A thousand-yard stare, many would call it. It only makes an appearance when Cap thinks there’s no one looking at him.

Tony catches Cap wearing this expression one morning, after a rare full night’s sleep. Cap, on the other hand, looks exhausted. He’s got a mug of coffee in his hand as he leans back against the counter, but he’s staring off into space like he’s forgotten it’s there.

“Morning, Cap,” Tony says cheerfully.

Cap almost jumps and blinks at Tony for a second. “Morning,” he replies warily. “Busy day today?”

“Board meeting this morning which I promised Pepper I’d go to as her early birthday present,” Tony replies, “then I plan to be in the workshop until I pass out.” Tony says that mainly to get Cap riled up: he knows how much Cap hates him losing sleep to spend more time in the workshop.

Cap takes the bait, frowning disapprovingly a little. “You should take more care of yourself, Tony,” he says.

Tony shrugs. “What about you, then? Any plans for today?”

Cap shakes his head. “I’m free as a bird. Fury hasn’t got any new missions for me, so.” Tony waits for Cap to finish that sentence, but he doesn’t think even Cap knows how to do that. He finally decides to bite the bullet and – although he’s probably the least qualified person to do so – play counsellor to the ninety-something-year-old supersoldier.

**“Are you okay?”**

Cap furrows his brow in confusion. “Of course.”

“Are you really, though? No offense, Cap, but you look exhausted, physically and mentally.”

“I’m fine,” Cap says firmly. “I just…” he sighs. “I haven’t been sleeping all that well.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yeah, and also… no, it’s silly.”

Tony takes a seat at the breakfast bar. “No, go on.”

Cap sighs again and sits opposite him. “I don’t know, I just feel restless. I don’t know my place here yet. I’m supposed to be a soldier, but what does a soldier do when the fighting’s over?”

Tony frowns. He really doesn’t know how to handle this. That doesn’t mean he’s not going to try, though. “You find something else to channel that energy into. You like art, right?”

Cap flushes, smiling shyly. “I wanted to go to art school when I was younger,” he says. “But it was more or less a pipe dream. I knew I could never afford it.”

“Well, now you can. Take some art classes. Get some good materials. Busy yourself with it.”

“You think it’ll help?” Cap asks, cocking his head.

“Sure. That method’s helped me.”

“It has?”

Tony sighs. He’s really going to tell Captain America about his night terrors, isn’t he? “Whenever I get too much in my head,” he says softly, “or I have nightmares about Afghanistan or the battle of New York, I go to my workshop, turn the music on loud and get stuck into a project. That’s why I’m in there so much and for such a long time.”

“Oh,” Cap says, looking sad again. “Tony, I’m sorry I ever criticised you for spending too much time in there.”

Tony shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not really a healthy coping mechanism, but it’s working for me. It’s better than drinking my sorrows away, at any rate.” He checks his watch. He really ought to be leaving for the meeting. “I gotta run,” he says, standing up. “This was nice. We should have more heart-to-hearts like this.”

Cap smiles, one of his genuine ones that makes his eyes light up. “Yeah,” he says. “Have a good meeting.”

“And Cap,” Tony says, turning around in the kitchen doorway. “You should also talk to someone about this. Someone who isn’t me, who actually knows shit about mental health and can help you more than I can.”

Cap nods thoughtfully. “I’ll think about that. Thanks, Tony.”

“Not at all, Capsicle.”

Later that day, when he’s in his workshop, he tells JARVIS to order a bunch of blank canvases, an easel and a pack of high-quality acrylic paints.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: sunshine-soprano


End file.
